


We're All Mad Here

by staranise, tsukinobara



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Community: pod-together, Documentation, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Podfic, Podfic Available, Post-Canon, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Psychology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-10
Updated: 2011-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-21 05:31:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staranise/pseuds/staranise, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukinobara/pseuds/tsukinobara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all the SGC's psychologists are stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're All Mad Here

**Author's Note:**

> Written collaboratively for pod_together 2011: staranise wrote the story and tsukinobara recorded the podfic, with both of us giving each other feedback during the process. Podfic available for download as [an MP3](http://pod-together.parakaproductions.com/2011podfic/SG-1-We%27re%20All%20Mad%20Here%20by%20staranise%20and%20tsuki_no_bara.mp3) or [an M4B](http://pod-together.parakaproductions.com/2011podfic/SG-1-We%27re%20All%20Mad%20Here%20by%20staranise%20and%20tsuki_no_bara.m4b).

Sent: 08/11/08  
From: "Dr. Helen Meyer, Clinical Psychologist" <helen.meyer@cheyenne.af.mil>  
To: Undisclosed Recipients

Re: Re: Fwd: Things I wish I had known before I wrote my thesis

(Please do not forward this particular email)

I feel for all the scientists here whose graduate work got tossed entirely out the door when they walked into Stargate Command.  Still, you'd think psychology is the same, right?  (The smart people out there are shaking their heads)  It turns out what we think of as healthy is INTENSELY CULTURAL.  Not to mention, in my professional opinion, everyone in this entire program is crazy.

My doctoral thesis was on Dissociative Identity Disorder following or combined with post-traumatic stress.  Apparently someone thought this would be useful experience when working with goa'uld hosts.  After all, isn't it just like having little voices in your head or add-ons to your personality?

Let's just put it the simplest way possible:  the hoped-for treatment for DID is to recognize the independent identities, and assimilate them back into the core identity.  On the other hand, the healthiest hosts I met, other than the Tok'ra, wanted NOTHING TO DO with the megalomaniac sociopath in their heads.

Contrary to popular belief around here, being a host is not the worst thing that can ever happen to you.  In some cases, deciding you don't want to be like a goa'uld is a definite personality improvement!

Still, I'm definitely grateful that my core counseling skills are still useful.  Most of my work is still with Earth-born humans.  I think I know what's going on with them... most of the time.

-Helen

*

**Personal Therapy Progress Notes - Sgt. Ryan Nerucci – Session 3**

**Session Objectives:**

Explore feelings of resistance towards disclosure about the subordination incident of October 6.  Encourage seeking help from outside sources (comrades, unit commander, base chaplain, grandmother)

**Session Synopsis:**

Attempted to demonstrate the social supports mind-map building exercise.  Exercise prevented when client initiated self-disclosure about childhood incidents and resisted redirection.  When he mentioned his aunt as a possible source of support, he affected a show of extreme grief and began a long story from when he was three, about losing a tricycle he loved and his aunt's dog running away.  Client attempted to apply psychodynamic principles to this incident, saying, "I think my Oedipus complex is for dogs."  Eventually agreed he should call his grandmother on the weekend.

**Clinical Assessment:**

Client is fucking with me.

*

**Psychological Assessment - Dr. Parveen Qadr – November 15 Follow-Up**

Subsequent investigation of biological samples taken from the adjacent caves shows the pollen to have noted psychoactive properties with noted tendencies to disinhibition and increased sexual arousal.  This disfavours psychosocial factors for the incident in question.  As the client is no longer under the influence of the biological agent and is pointedly undistressed about either her behaviour or its consequences, I have no problems recommending that treatment be discontinued and that she be given a clean bill of health as part of her exit evaluation of the program.  Client admitted her engagement to Capt. Salinas was impulsive, but said "it's something I've been thinking about for a long time."

*

Sent: 17/11/08  
Received: 21/11/08 in databurst 1809  
From:  "Dr. Helen Meyer, Clinical Psychologist" <helen.meyer@cheyenne.af.mil>  
To:  "Jennifer Keller MD" <jennifer.keller@us.af.mil>

Dear Dr. Keller:

Please see the attached consulting summaries.  Short version:

Re: casefile 32876: No.  It's supposed to work that way.

Re: casefile 32881: NFL finals were last weekend.  Do you know who he cheers for?

Re: casefile 31573: Definitely time to end his tour.

Do you need anything else?

Best wishes,  
Dr. Helen Meyer

*

**Personal Journal – November 22, 2008**

Session today with one of my civilian clients, who I've been seeing for post-Program adjustment and alcohol abuse issues.  I mentioned that when I was writing up the last session two weeks ago, I noticed that we'd hit the one-year anniversary of being my client.

He said, "You should have told me!  We could have gone for a drink to celebrate."

We both laughed a little too long.

*

Dr. Helen Meyer, Clinical Psychologist  
Suite 102-1407 Briargate Boulevard  
Colorado Springs CO 80920

November 25, 2008

Judge Samantha Long  
El Paso County Judicial Building  
270 South Tejon  
P.O. Box 2980  
Colorado Springs CO 80901

RE:  Case 2008G5412

Your Honor:

I am a clinical psychologist licensed to practice in the state of Colorado, currently under contract to the United States Air Force.  I have in the past assessed and treated Lieutenant Nathan Greene for Acute Stress Disorder following an incident which occurred in November of 2007.  Attached to this document is a copy of my 2007 assessment of his psychological functioning.  I am not responsible for any redactions; they were made by Air Force Intelligence censors, as the incident occurred under classified circumstances.

Lt. Greene works in a very high-stress environment as an Air Force officer.  While I am limited in my ability to accurately describe the conditions of his current assignment, I would ask you to consider him as being under similar stress as a soldier currently deployed overseas.  In light of this exceptional stress, I myself am quite grateful that his only maladaptive response has been his November 5 exhibition in the Garden of the Gods.  Lt. Greene was in the company of several other service members and civilian contractors, all of whom had consumed alcohol, when the bonfire was built.  I do not deny that he had a large hand in instigating the fire, but there is no evidence that he was responsible for the inclusion of high explosives in the kindling.  The stuffed snakes included in the fire had significant symbolic and psychological value to all service members and contractors involved, and I believe that for Lt. Greene, it was a moment of significant psychological healing.

I hope that when you consider Lt. Greene's case, you will keep the attached report in mind, and act with respect for an esteemed officer of the United States Air Force.

Sincerely,  
Dr. Helen Meyer

*

( _scribbled on a piece of paper left in Nathan Greene's inbox_ )

NATHAN:

YOU OWE ME.

-HELEN

*

**SHOPPING LIST**

Chicken breasts  
Asparagus  
Russet potatoes  
Cheddar  
Laundry detergent  
Vodka  
Vodka  
Vodka


End file.
